Dear People of God... ...Could you imagine...
 

...If God had Voicemail

 
We have all learned to live with "voicemail" as a necessary part of modern life. But have you wondered, what if God decided to install voice mail? Imagine praying and hearing this: "Thank you for calling My Father's House. Please select one of the following options:" 
Press 1 for Requests 
Press 2 for Thanksgiving 
Press 3 for Complaints 
Press 4 for All Other Inquiries

I'm sorry but all of our angels are busy helping other sinners right now. However, your prayer is important to us and will be answered in the order it was received, so please stay on the line.
 
If you would like to speak to: 
God, Press.......................1 
Jesus, Press.......................2
The Holy Spirit, Press........3

Press 4 If you would like to hear King David sing a Psalm while you are holding.
Press 5 To find out if a loved one has been assigned to heaven, then enter his or her social security number, then press the pound key.  If you get a negative response, try area code 666
For reservations at "My Father's House," please enter J-O-H-N, followed by 3-1-6.
For answers to nagging questions about dinosaurs, the age of the earth and Noah's Ark, please wait until you arrive here. 
Our computers show that you have already prayed once today. Please hang up and try again tomorrow. This office is closed for the weekend to observe a religious holiday. Please pray again Monday after 9:30am. If you need emergency assistance when this office is closed, contact your local pastor. 
 
THANK GOD, GOD DOESN'T HAVE VOICEMAIL AND THAT GOD LISTENS WHEN WE PRAY!!!!!!!
 
 

God Bless as we journey together,
Fr. Peter

 
 

 

North American Martyrs, Pray for Us.